Monday, March 23, 2009

my car was broken into


i hardly drive anymore. when i do, its usually just to do the "SF shuffle," which means moving your car around twice a week to avoid getting a ticket in the street sweeping zones.

in the past year and a half i've lived here, i've been pretty lucky because i've never had my car broken into. after my honda civic was stolen in san diego around 2006, i vowed never to own another car with upgrades/mods. i wanted a plain ol' stock family wagon. i got a subaru outback.

i don't keep anything in my car. i'm parking it on the street in downtown san francisco, 24/7. i see cars with broken windows literally every single day. my method: i leave it completely barren, with untinted windows for any beholder to look and find nothing. if you are dumb enough to leave a bicycle, electronics, a purse or bag in plain view, some crackee WILL STEAL IT. i even left a bunch of blankets in the hatchback so that if the seats are folded down, it looks like someone might be sleeping there. they were originally used in the move, but just kinda stayed in there.

when i walked to my car today, something felt weird. i'd parked it on haight, just below octavia. octavia is a pretty bad street for broken into cars- a friend got his stuff stolen there once. anyway, i didn't see any broken windows as i walked up, so i felt ok. i looked inside. stuff was all over the seats. it took me a second to realize that i hadn't left it that messy- someone had gone through my shit!

turns out the thief was kind enough to just pry back the rubber seal on the door jamb and somehow let himself in.

here's the turnout:
1. they didn't get anything, because as stated above, i leave nothing in my bone-stock car.
2. there was no permanent damage to the car. i put the rubber seal back in myself.
3. i learned how to discreetly break into a subaru, should the need ever arise.
4. they didn't even find my spare change?! crack is a helluva drug.
5. they didn't bother to take my cd's?! so sad, nobody buys music anymore.
6. since my shit was already spread out everywhere, i figured it was a good time to clean out my car. so i did.
7. months ago, somehow i had lost the knob that you pull to fold the back seat down. you could manage to still do it by grabbing the threaded screw, but the knob was MIA. the crackhead found it for me, as i found it laying on my back seat. thanks!

2 comments:

Chester said...

A friend of mine who used to live in a haven for car break-ins started leaving all his compartments completely empty and, more importantly, left them open...to show potential thieves that there was absolutely nothing worth breaking in for. No break-ins after that...

??? said...

fucking hilarious. you're getting funnier.