hot mess

some girls are just a hot mess. caveat emptor.

showing vacancies

a super SoCal girl checked out a studio today.

girl: "whats that, its so in the waaayyy. can it be moved?"

me: "thats a radiator. no, it cannot."

girl: "so there's no garbage disposal?"

me: "nope."

girl: "are there, like, doors for the pantry?"

me: "this one has a door. . .see? this one does not."

girl: "whoa, look at that sink! ewwww!" (split section sink)

me: "ya know, i showed this unit to a friend, and he was stoked because it was 'vintage,' or 'era correct.' you're not going to find all the modern amenities in an old-ass building in the tenderloin."

conversation with a "playboy"

near closing time, edinburgh castle pub, saturday night:

Pb: "so how long have you lived in this city?"

me: "oh, just over 2 years."

Pb: "i've been in this neighborhood for 5 years, and lived in the city for over 10 years! i'm approaching 30 now."

me: "i'm 30."

Pb: "know whats the best thing about SF?? theres always new hot bitches coming in!"

me: "uhh. . .yea."

Pb: "i dunno bout you, but i'm sort of a playboy. gotta run, see you around!"


i didn't know people actually referred to themselves as "playboys."

sneaky sex and its consequences

via text, saturday morning 11/7/09, 6:35am PST. (9:35am ET where melissa lives)

melissa: "i'm hiding naked under the covers at my boyfriends house. i just came. i'm still drunk from last night. his parents just came. . .over. they don't know i'm here. my clothes are outside."

ken: "haha!" "youre fucked. that happened to me once, but tiffany's brother caught us (i was about 17 at the time)."

melissa: "ha! i remember you told me that story before. they're talking fucking interior design for christsake!"

ken: "pretend you got raped. then just walk out and blame it on the roofies."

melissa: "you're so insensitive."

lisps

i've met more people with lisps in SF than everywhere else i've ever lived, combined. not sure why.

halloween

this was a really fun weekend. critical mass, monster mash alleycat checkpoint, and hella halloween parties. 2 days of cat ladying in the city.




the day after halloween, 11/1/09. via text:

ken: "Gonna chill in DP later with mira and friends. wanna go? prob 3ish or later."
jared: "i can't move."

rule #1: never talk about ex gf's on a date

"whatcha doin for halloween?"

"my friend clare is having a zombie themed halloween party, you should come!"

"have i met this friend?"

"no, i don't think so."

"are you sure? i think i met her."

"i dunno. she's actually my ex girlfriend."

"what?! hmmmm. i thought your ex lived in another state or something. . ."

"no. . . .thats my other ex, melissa . . . ."

FML x 2