caller: "yeah, hi, um. . . how much are tires?"
ken: "what kind of tires?"
caller: "you know, the rubber part that goes on a bike?!"
ken: "yes, i know what tires are. i mean what type of bike do you have- there are different sizes and types of tires for different bikes. road, track, mountain. . . . ."
and on and on. . . .
it made me laugh, and then i knew i'd write a blog about it.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
the RACE card
this anecdote ties in an an event that happened a while ago with the repercussions of that event, which i just happened to learn about today.
a couple months ago, a bald, middle-aged, overweight asian man came into my shop with a magna mountain bike. typical time-waster dude- 298332987 questions, no intention of actually buying anything. don't people use the internet anymore? fuck, the word "google" is now a verb because, thanks to the miracle of the internet, you can find the answers to any stupid question your heart desires! ok, i digress.
this dude tells me he wants to buy our toughest tires ($45 each) to put on his magna (read: crappy ass department store disposable bike- we don't work on these and no respectable bike shop should, really) because he plans on riding it across the philippines. c'mon. a fucking magna? i'm not trying to be bikesnobnyc here, but lets be realistic- why the hell would you spend $90 plus $12 for tubes and $14 labor to install tires on a bike worth well under $100 new? it doesn't make any sense. i told him not to waste his money and try to get a better bicycle that he can actually repair or find parts for when he breaks down in the jungle in the middle of nowhere.
if you know me, you know i'm a pretty nice guy. eeeeevvvvvery now an then you get a guy like this who leaves you no choice but to be a dick to him, just to get him to leave. we hate doing this, but really do have work to do.
when you try to convey common sense to someone totally as clueless and hard-headed as this guy. . . it never works. debate ensues- i decide to stop wasting my time, ask him to leave. this is the last i hear about him.
then today, i learned that he actually wrote a letter to the head of the non-profit org that runs our shop. of course, we had to address this by explaining WHY we don't work on department store bikes, the lack of available or replaceable parts, low quality of components on them, and how they are meant to be used and disposed of instead of repaired. . . . blah blah. its an age-old argument.
here is where it gets good: he claimed HE WAS RACIALLY PROFILED and then asked to leave?! wtf? did he totally miss the fact that i am also asian?? uhhhh what interest would i have in racially profiling someone my own race? its not like asians typically ride sucky bikes. . . we asians love our sweet rides! wtf??
so alas, we reach the moral of this story- while there is an appropriate time for pulling the race card. . . . this was the perfect example of an inappropriate time. ha.
a couple months ago, a bald, middle-aged, overweight asian man came into my shop with a magna mountain bike. typical time-waster dude- 298332987 questions, no intention of actually buying anything. don't people use the internet anymore? fuck, the word "google" is now a verb because, thanks to the miracle of the internet, you can find the answers to any stupid question your heart desires! ok, i digress.
this dude tells me he wants to buy our toughest tires ($45 each) to put on his magna (read: crappy ass department store disposable bike- we don't work on these and no respectable bike shop should, really) because he plans on riding it across the philippines. c'mon. a fucking magna? i'm not trying to be bikesnobnyc here, but lets be realistic- why the hell would you spend $90 plus $12 for tubes and $14 labor to install tires on a bike worth well under $100 new? it doesn't make any sense. i told him not to waste his money and try to get a better bicycle that he can actually repair or find parts for when he breaks down in the jungle in the middle of nowhere.
if you know me, you know i'm a pretty nice guy. eeeeevvvvvery now an then you get a guy like this who leaves you no choice but to be a dick to him, just to get him to leave. we hate doing this, but really do have work to do.
when you try to convey common sense to someone totally as clueless and hard-headed as this guy. . . it never works. debate ensues- i decide to stop wasting my time, ask him to leave. this is the last i hear about him.
then today, i learned that he actually wrote a letter to the head of the non-profit org that runs our shop. of course, we had to address this by explaining WHY we don't work on department store bikes, the lack of available or replaceable parts, low quality of components on them, and how they are meant to be used and disposed of instead of repaired. . . . blah blah. its an age-old argument.
here is where it gets good: he claimed HE WAS RACIALLY PROFILED and then asked to leave?! wtf? did he totally miss the fact that i am also asian?? uhhhh what interest would i have in racially profiling someone my own race? its not like asians typically ride sucky bikes. . . we asians love our sweet rides! wtf??
so alas, we reach the moral of this story- while there is an appropriate time for pulling the race card. . . . this was the perfect example of an inappropriate time. ha.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
dolores park swap meet
so much fun. buying/selling/bartering bike crap, people watching, rape-eyeing bikes. . . . dope. seeing people in real life that you've talked to/learned about/seen pics of/interacted with on web forums in real life. . . and saying nothing. this was the best barter i experienced today:
ken: "how much for these handlebars?"
guy: "how 'bout you just have them?"
ken: "you want something in trade? i brought over some campy stuff- its better than money, you know. . . (holding campagnolo rim and campagnolo rear wheel)
guy: ok, i'll take that rim!
ken: "ok, its a deal. thanks, man!"
ken: "how much for these handlebars?"
guy: "how 'bout you just have them?"
ken: "you want something in trade? i brought over some campy stuff- its better than money, you know. . . (holding campagnolo rim and campagnolo rear wheel)
guy: ok, i'll take that rim!
ken: "ok, its a deal. thanks, man!"
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
conversation with clueless guy on phone
me: "the best time to bring your bike to the shop is tomorrow morning, that way you can save a slot for your repairs on friday, before they are all booked up."
guy: "what time do you open?"
me: "we are open from 10-6."
guy: "will there be anyone there before you open?"
me: "sometimes, but you can't drop off your bike until we open, at 10 am."
guy: "and why not?"
me: "the only reason someone would come to work early is to do paperwork or work without distraction on something they need to finish, before we are open to the public and get sidetracked by helping customers or answering the telephone. if they had to open the doors early to let you in and work on your bike before we 'open', then that would be the opposite of why they decided to come to work early."
guy: "o . . . k . . ."
me: "see you at 10am, bye."
guy: "what time do you open?"
me: "we are open from 10-6."
guy: "will there be anyone there before you open?"
me: "sometimes, but you can't drop off your bike until we open, at 10 am."
guy: "and why not?"
me: "the only reason someone would come to work early is to do paperwork or work without distraction on something they need to finish, before we are open to the public and get sidetracked by helping customers or answering the telephone. if they had to open the doors early to let you in and work on your bike before we 'open', then that would be the opposite of why they decided to come to work early."
guy: "o . . . k . . ."
me: "see you at 10am, bye."
911 call tonight
here is a letter i wrote to my property supervisor, regarding my evening ruined by a longhaired hippy, LSD, and his own personal selfishness, and not knowing when enough is enough. by holing up in the elevator, poor little old ladies who live on the 6th floor had to climb up a lot of stairs. this is a fucking apartment building, not a psych ward or extended care facility.
ada,
we had to call 911 tonight, tenant P. G. from #XX was arrested.
earlier tonight, a tenant called to report that someone was spotted climbing up the fire escape and into the building. he looked for him, but the person was not found.
later, we got a complaint from another tenant that someone was asleep in the elevator. we went up, and this guy was now awake but had turned off the power and wedged himself between the 3rd and 4th floor. he looked homeless, and i did not know he was a tenant at the time. other tenants were gathering to see what was going on. we gave him the option to turn on the elevator and leave, otherwise we would call the police. he was noncompliant. he had power tools and other stuff in there, and said he was the manager in training. he also seemed like he was drunk or on drugs. after talking to him and it going nowhere, we had no choice but to call the police.
the fire department and police showed up, but could not coerce him to get out. they had to tear off the door on the 4rd floor and drag him out. one tenant tried to tell the police that he was a normal guy and not intoxicated. it doesn't matter, he created a nuisance and safety hazard, and refused to comply with police orders.
the fire department says he had unscrewed the top hatch of the elevator and was tampering with the cables and other electrical stuff that controls the elevator! there were personal belongings all over the hallway, its obvious he was on drugs or crazy. ie, he screwed a windchime to the door by the back stairwell, screwed a sawblade into the fire escape window at the end of the hall to prop it open, took off the latch that closes the window, propped open the window in the back stairwell, moved potted plants and other personal items into the hallway, including what looked like drug paraphernalia, put up stickers on the window, etc. the police threw his stuff back into his apartment, though he said it was not his stuff (it clearly was).
the police said that all charges for repair of the elevator and everything else should be charged to him. obivously he should be evicted immediately.
here's the list:
1. send an elevator repairman ASAP. the door was reinstalled by the fire dept, but it needs to be inspected because he was tampering with it.
2. the latch on the 4rd floor market street-facing fire escape needs to be replaced, as he removed it.
3. evict this guy.
4. can you please print a letter saying we need to keep the fire escape windows shut to prevent this? should we bother mentioning all this to them?
obviously many other residents were alarmed by this whole fiasco. they thought he was just moving out, since he was moving personal items all over the 4th floor. everybody was asking questions.
please call me if you have more questions-
ken
ada,
we had to call 911 tonight, tenant P. G. from #XX was arrested.
earlier tonight, a tenant called to report that someone was spotted climbing up the fire escape and into the building. he looked for him, but the person was not found.
later, we got a complaint from another tenant that someone was asleep in the elevator. we went up, and this guy was now awake but had turned off the power and wedged himself between the 3rd and 4th floor. he looked homeless, and i did not know he was a tenant at the time. other tenants were gathering to see what was going on. we gave him the option to turn on the elevator and leave, otherwise we would call the police. he was noncompliant. he had power tools and other stuff in there, and said he was the manager in training. he also seemed like he was drunk or on drugs. after talking to him and it going nowhere, we had no choice but to call the police.
the fire department and police showed up, but could not coerce him to get out. they had to tear off the door on the 4rd floor and drag him out. one tenant tried to tell the police that he was a normal guy and not intoxicated. it doesn't matter, he created a nuisance and safety hazard, and refused to comply with police orders.
the fire department says he had unscrewed the top hatch of the elevator and was tampering with the cables and other electrical stuff that controls the elevator! there were personal belongings all over the hallway, its obvious he was on drugs or crazy. ie, he screwed a windchime to the door by the back stairwell, screwed a sawblade into the fire escape window at the end of the hall to prop it open, took off the latch that closes the window, propped open the window in the back stairwell, moved potted plants and other personal items into the hallway, including what looked like drug paraphernalia, put up stickers on the window, etc. the police threw his stuff back into his apartment, though he said it was not his stuff (it clearly was).
the police said that all charges for repair of the elevator and everything else should be charged to him. obivously he should be evicted immediately.
here's the list:
1. send an elevator repairman ASAP. the door was reinstalled by the fire dept, but it needs to be inspected because he was tampering with it.
2. the latch on the 4rd floor market street-facing fire escape needs to be replaced, as he removed it.
3. evict this guy.
4. can you please print a letter saying we need to keep the fire escape windows shut to prevent this? should we bother mentioning all this to them?
obviously many other residents were alarmed by this whole fiasco. they thought he was just moving out, since he was moving personal items all over the 4th floor. everybody was asking questions.
please call me if you have more questions-
ken
Thursday, April 3, 2008
conversation with a tweaker
this is cut and pasted from an email i wrote to alex the other day:
living in the city makes you tough, but in a good way. it hardens you, but thats real life, ya know?? i never get sick of it. here's the perfect example, a conversation between me and a tweaker lady outside the bank yesterday, as i'm locking up my bike:
tweaker lady: "hey man, can you spare some change? i just need a little money so i can get home. . . "
ken: "this is the BANK. i came here to get money, not give it all away."
tweaker: (pause) "well can i have some when you come out?"
ken: "sure, will $20's be all right? HELL NO, get the hell out of here!"
living in the city makes you tough, but in a good way. it hardens you, but thats real life, ya know?? i never get sick of it. here's the perfect example, a conversation between me and a tweaker lady outside the bank yesterday, as i'm locking up my bike:
tweaker lady: "hey man, can you spare some change? i just need a little money so i can get home. . . "
ken: "this is the BANK. i came here to get money, not give it all away."
tweaker: (pause) "well can i have some when you come out?"
ken: "sure, will $20's be all right? HELL NO, get the hell out of here!"
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