transvestites and bikes

i live in SF. there are TONS of transgender/transvestite/transexuals around. tons. fine by me, i have no problem with that. a small(ish) percentage of said trannys ride bikes, so naturally they come to shops like ours, who will treat them like any other customer.

from my experience, i find it interesting which choices will be made when it comes to selecting gender-specific components, like saddles. saddles are made to fit different anatomical parts, like sit-bones. one time i offered a tranny the choice between the mens and women's version of the same saddle- he/she chose the female version. he/she had a man's body, hips, butt, everything. i thought it was funny.

today, a tranny came in to shop for a new bike. he/she was looking for something preferably in pink and black. we didn't have anything like that, so i showed him/her what we did have. he/she wanted a step-through frame because he/she often wears skirts. unfortunately, that style of frame has been phased out because it is heavier, weaker, and bikes are more unisex nowadays.

he/she asked about the bikes with women-specific geometry, and i answered all questions diligently and concisely, and he/she was on his/her way.

here's the thing:
1. cheaper "women specific" bikes are usually identical to their mens models, but with a stupid paint job and maybe a white saddle and bar tape. its all marketing.

2. higher end bikes with "women specific geometry" will have a shorter toptube than a mens version of the same bike. why? because women generally have longer legs than a man of the same height, but not a longer torso. this is a generalization, so it does not apply to all women. therefore, not all women need women specific frames. you can make a unisex bike fit with adjustments to, or swapping stems and/or seatposts.

in this case, the tranny was 6'2", and looked like a dude with a wig on. he/she did not need women specific anything. why bother making the search for a bike more complicated??

i guess its just part of identifying with the gender, which i will never understand. . .

road bikes = track bikes?

guy: "hi, i wanna buy a road bike."
me: "ok, let me show you what we've got." (show him some road bikes)"
guy: "what about these?" (points to track bikes)
me: "those are track bikes. . . fixed gears, and some are single speeds. i thought you said you wanted a road bike?"
guy: "why, is there a difference?" (spoken condescendingly)
me: "track bikes have 1 gear, whereas road bikes have up to 30. . ."

he test rode both, decided to buy a road bike (but only if we could install red tires and red bar tape ASAP so he could ride it home TODAY). then he tried to pay with a fake, non-activated credit card, and said he was "going to go to the bank." he never returned. what a douche.

toe overlap

track bikes have toe overlap. they are designed for racing on a velodrome. its not a big deal, you get used to it. any proper frame with true track geometry will have at least a little bit of overlap between your pedal and front tire.

some dude came into the shop yesterday with a $1000 bankroll and a credit card, ready to purchase a custom track bike. after making very crucial decisions as to the specs of his build (ie, what color deep V's, tires, cranks, and grips to match), we built it up and he rolled off into SF's busy streets. brakeless. he refused. the frame was undrilled, but he opted not to have a keirin brake installed.

he returned 10 min later. he was pissed because he almost ate shit on the mission district's mean streets. the culprit? TOE OVERLAP. what is defective about this bicycle? why does my toeclip touch on the tire?! i was apalled.

darwinism.

phone etiquette

i hung up on some douchebag on the phone the other day. he ended up complaining to the non-profit org that owns my bike shop. i didn't get reprimanded per se, but it was definitely a hot topic. i've been instructed to transfer all douchebags immediately over to my more mild-mannered boss. ha.

douche: "yeah. hi. i need to make an appointment to bring my bike in for a tune up."

ken: "well, we need to have a look at your bike to figure out how much work it needs so we can give you an estimate, and how long it will take."

douche: (already pissed) "I WAS JUST IN THERE THE OTHER DAY AND THEY SAID THEY COULDN'T DO A TUNE UP WITHOUT AN APPOINTMENT! I'M NOT GOING TO DRIVE 40 MIN JUST TO GET AN APPOINTMENT FOR ANOTHER DATE!!!!"

this is where i started explaining how it works, he interrupted me, yelling, and i hung up.

(he called back, naturally)

douche: "YEAH, ITS ME AGAIN."

ken: "how may i be of assistance to you today, sir? (sarcasm, its hard to convey via internet)

douche: "I SPENT $800 DOLLARS THERE AND THIS IS HOW I'M TREATED?!"

ken: "i tried to explain something to you, but you weren't listening to me. you were yelling instead. when i realized that the conversation was going nowhere since you weren't listening, i hung up."

douche: "ok fine i'm listening now. . ."

ken: "weekends are our busiest days. if you bring in your bike on a weekend, which you probably did the first time, we can't tune up your bike on the spot. we also can't make appointments over the phone without looking at your bike, nor can we reserve a slot without a deposit. you need to bring it in and allow time for us to make an estimate, then book you a date for a tune up. the fact that you live 40 min away and have to drive here does not give you any special privileges. there's nothing we can do to help you there. thats your choice for going to a bike shop thats 40 min away."

douche: "ARE YOU FINISHED?"

ken: "yes."

douche: "its 40 min round trip- i live in the marina (not surprising- its doucheville over there)! I USED TO KNOW THE PERSON THAT RAN THE OLD NON PROFIT THAT OWNED THE PLACE! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! UHHH. . . FUCK YOU, LATER!"

ken: "bye!"



yes, he said, "fuck you later." ha.