new career haiku

life happens so fast.

hell, i'm wearing a cardigan today.

plans are meant to change.

"time crunch" = $5k

Today I did 2 noteworthy things.

1) Sold a $4800 carbon 29'er mountain bike to a guy on a "time crunch." Meaning- he was supposed to go riding with a buddy in an hour, but didn't want to pull his janky old bike out of storage. So he spent well over $5k on a bike, helmet, and pedals. Baller. That's the most expensive item I've ever sold to anyone.

2) I learned how to de-seed a pomegranate. What did we do before YouTube? I guess I called my mom for stuff like that.

its tough to be a tall girl in SF

(overheard phone conversation, Russian Hill, SF)

dude on cell phone: "yeah man, i went out with her a few times. . . .

SHE'S JUST TOO FUCKING TALL!"

smoking is not healthy

I've got a new job. Its 0.6 miles from my house, so I can walk there. From the Tenderloin, aka "Lower Polk," as I hear they are now calling it. . . up to Russian Hill.

Bummy: (approaching me from behind, as I wait at an intersection) "Hey mannnnn. . . .can I bum a cigaret. . . .(eye contact made) oh wait, you don't smoke, do ya?"

Me: "How did you know?"

Bummy: "You look HEALTHY."

Me: "Thanks, man."

That made my day.

a skateboard as a weapon

a sketchy 21-yr old dude stole my skateboard today while i was enjoying lunch at whizburger. grab-n-run. i chased, he dropped the board, i retrieved it and cornered him, as a DPT bike metermaid called 911. as i waited for the cops, i had the skateboard over my shoulder, ready to smack him across the forehead if he tried anything stupid. he got arrested, but i'm probably not going to pursue it further, as i'd have to go to civil court to make the misdemeanor stick. not worth it to me. fucking bullshit system. ruined my day. he fucked with the wrong dude.

Jack of All Trades

I was painting over some graffiti on the exterior of my building today, when a resident walked by and said, "You're a Jack of All Trades!"

I replied, "Its easy stuff."

That got me thinking. . . I could also overhaul your bike blindfolded, AND you probably don't know that I also have a law degree. FML

insearchofthebrodeal

"bro deal": a discount on something, based on knowing someone or belonging to something.


guy: "yeah, let me get that wheel, that tire, a tube, and and get it all set up."

me: "you got it."

(15 min later, after setup complete)

me: "ok, that will be $126.45."

guy: "i. . . uh, know clancybikecoalitionusedtobe a messenger . . . . ?"

me: "wait, WHAT?"


this is what happened, in 1 single breath:

1) name drop
2) claimed membership to a bike organization
3) claimed membership to a cool kids club

he repeated himself, slower this time. i laughed. he got 10% off.